Summer Planes 2009:
So its April, which means that the fucking summer is right around the corner. That is of course unless you live in Australia or anywhere else south of the equator where it is your fall right now. If you live there, and you survived your summer, not being bitten by a shark, a poisonous frog cobra, or brain punched by a kangaroo king, then count your lucky stars on the southern cross that the worst is over.
But if you live in a real country, such as Nerf America, soon its gonna be summer time. If you are the kind of person who makes plans, have you made your summer plans? If you're plum out of ideas, I have a few that might work for you, or ideas that maybe you are already going to do.
What to do with your summer:
1. Hit the gym and try and lose some weight, then maybe change the hairstyle,
maybe something a lot darker, maybe even try out black hair, and cut it a little
shorter to try something new. Maybe take a little time to get more familiar with
the band Radiohead's albums. Then maybe now and then just stop by the soccer
field where your ex-boyfriend who loves Radiohead always plays soccer with his
friends. That is, those times when he isn't hanging out with his new girlfriend who is all skinny
and has short black hair.
2. Test out whether your show off roommate isn't just faking that he has diabetes in order to get attention, by watering down
his insulin and
seeing what happens.
3. Get your identity back from that guy who stole it.
4. Finally stop eating the cat's medicine.
5. Finish that computer virus you've been working on (Russian's only).
6. Find Jesus, your gardener Jesus Herrera, the one who took off last week
before finishing planting all the chrysanthemums.
7. Learn how to use twitter.
8. Find out if your Grandma ever made it to the hospital.
9. End the online relationship where you were pretending to be a woman.
10. Get these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane.
11. Stop taking your birth control pills, and start telling boyfriend that your new birth control pills look exactly like
Mentos.
12. Check on that untended fire you started by the neighbors garage.
13. Get a new laminator so you can start laminating the fake ID's that you make for
Russian sex workers.
14. Write that song that you have always planned on writing for your wife, the one where you drop hints about the existence of your other wife
and family in Arizona.
15. Dispute the validity of the Corrupted
Blood plague incident post on wikipedia, specifically claiming that you
personally have a chronic case of it.
16. Buy a fire extinguisher for your Meth Lab.
17. Find out what that knocking sound coming from the basement during March was all about.
18. Finish reading Dianetics.
19. Ballin!
So anyway that's my list of plains for the summer, I mean my plans for the summer. And now here are some plains for the summer!
