I was out drinking with some people the other day and we were having a conversation. Someone directed the following question to the men of the group. Would you give another man a blowjob for a million dollars? Of course it doesn't have to be a million dollars, you can just assume the number is whatever you consider a lot of money. If you already can earn a million dollars some other way then you may not find that amount of cashola tempting enough to demean yourself. So assume it is whatever your price is, maybe its 10 million, maybe its 30 bucks.
Anyway, 3 out of the 4 men in the group said yes without really even thinking about it, but one dude said hell no. I was the first to say yes by the way. Here's my thinking, as unpleasant as I may find it to do it will be maybe 10 minutes out of my life, then I'm set for cash for at least a couple of months.
Plus I can pretend its something else, like Jessica Biel's dick, or one of those super hot tennis chicks. Or at the worst the just the dick of a masculine girl. The point is I can pretend. Then when it is all over I'm a million dollars richer, which means no more soul destroying slavery at my present mindless job. A million dollars amounts to some expensive good times followed closely by bribing my way into Harvard Law School so I can get the fuck out of my rut as fast as possible. I will admit it that that kind of thing isn't going to do amazing things for my dignity, but neither is decomposing in my dead end job and watching the years tick by.
So you can probably see where I stand on this whole issue.
The guy who said hell no was really offended by the idea. He said he never would because he couldn't stand people thinking he was a fag. He added that he thought a million dollars wouldn't even be enough to get chicks to talk to you after they heard about your gay experience. My response to that was "what?"
Now not that it is your business, but for reference sake I am not gay. I think I am about as straight as an ordinary man can ever really get, and I love women about as much as is possible for a man when you consider how bitchy and irrational women get.
I find your garden variety heterosexual about equally as interesting to be around as your garden variety homosexual. By that I mean I don't particularly enjoy being around either. In fact the only reason I leave my house to be around other people at all is to continue some portion of my never ending search for the world's most fantastic ladies.
But when I do leave my house and deal with other people I really don't care what they are as long as they are not stupid or interfering with me. Their sex life has no effect on my interests. So I am not homophobic. I was once, when I was younger, but that was because I was a little afraid they would start kissing in front of me and make me uncomfortable. But now I think that's hilarious.
I think the reason people react badly to homosexuals is just because they are personally revolted by what they do. Well too fucking bad. I personally find people's ignorance and thoughtlessness revolting but I live with it. Grow up. Objecting to homosexuality is amusing to me because I can't imagine caring. The things other people do in their private lives are so fucking boring to me already that I can barely stand it.
So I'm all for gays expressing themselves. Everyone else seems to need to. It seems like the all the assholes, rednecks, religions, and teenagers are expressing themselves directly at me all the time, so why not the homos?
Have a parade, have one every day.
I'll tell you why I am so okay with gayness. Because you are what you are. They are gay because that is who they are. They could force themselves to make different choices and act straight but what is the point? The person they are deep down under their versace shirt or football uniform is gay. The things they want out of their life are what they want. What right do I have to tell someone else to choose to live a life they don't want? Would I even for a second consider it if someone asked me to live my life the way they wanted?
The way I see it is this, so I'm going to ramble on as if I am some big expert and of course you may disagree. As I see it while you form into a real person you figure out who you are. That is is your first hurdle. The second is learning to like that person. The third is learning to make that person and the world co-exist in a way that you and the world can both live with, which means learning where the you or the world must yield.
I have my suspicions that those things are probably impossible, but in my opinion the closer you get the better. But whatever happens we will never do it as any person other than the masterpiece/disaster that we are. You are what you are.
You might push the envelope, you might mash potatoes, I can't do either. But just like you I can do all sorts of neat or weird things that when you roll all together magically compose themselves into a vaguely consistent person. Abra Cadabra!
But if someone told me to change, or that they didn't like me the way I am, what am I supposed to do? I could make an effort to be somebody else but sooner or later the person underneath will pop out through the seams. The reason I know this is the times I have tried to be somebody else in the past have always ended with disaster and an extraneous identity based on lies that were very difficult to explain.
So what I'm saying it that its probably not worth it.