A Salute to the humorists!

Everyone likes jokes and they've been around forever, historians recorded when Napolean layed this one on the King of Britian, the old chestnut, 20 questions:

Clem and Flem were sitting on their porch in Appalachia, trying to pass the time.

Clem says, "How 'bout we play 20 questions?"

Flem asks, "How d'ya play that?"

Clem says, " Well, I think of somethin' and ya have to guess what it is by askin' me questions. Ya get 20."

Flem says, "Awright, let's go."

Clem thinks for a minute, then writes down "Horse Dick." "Go ahead," he says.

Flem asks, "Can ya eat it?"

Clem says, "Well....I guess so.. sure, you could eat it."

Flem says, "Is it horse dick?"

Now that's comedy.

The New Yorker is hilarious!

This cartoon isn't funny.  

I get a kick out of funny noises.  Click on the buttons below to hear some hilarious comic pearls.

I realized recently that anything crappy is funny.  The lower quality something is the funnier.  This equation is clearly apparent in Archie comics, Archie's car, or jalopy is funniest when it is drawn with the tyres wobbling, doors and hood askew and action lines indicating kinetic energy pushing forces out in all directions of the vehicle.  The same is true for all classic comedy.  For example, the hilarious old show The Little Rascals was based on the fact that the kids were poor, therefore the defective children of fugitive train jumping criminals and diseased low rent whores.  

This equation is absolute.  The crappiest thing is therefore the funniest, and what's crappier than old people?  The elderly are hysterical.  Eating dinner at 3:30, sabotaging the democratic process by voting in huge numbers.  Old people are so funny, just look at them.  The best thing about old people is they don't like old people either.  They want to talk to and hang out with young people whose lives aren't lingering at their dusky conclusion awaiting the reaper.

Crappy stuff is funny, but so is anything to do with genitals or nads.  I remember seeing this keychain at the store San Francisco, the warehouse of comedy.  Two crudely drawn naked super fat people facing each other, obviously wishing to engage in coitus, with the caption, Mission Impossible.  Permit me to break it down for you.  The morbidly obese condition of their bodies makes missionary style sex a laughable impossibility, and yet their lack of imagination will likely preclude any other sort of fucking.  The ultimate punch of this joke is the irony, had they the self control to restrain their gluttony they could have prevented themselves becoming too fat to screw, but now their only options are to continue down this path of binge eating and physical isolation or lose the weight, which we know will never happen.  Tremendous!

I am the towne foole, but I fake like I'm funny by stealing other peoples jokes.  In fact the entire concept of joke analysis I ripped off from a much better and more famous writer, Mason Brown, who may assume some sort of proprietary conception about the idea and not like me stealing it.  Too bad shithook!  It's mine now.

I love jokes!

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