Grandpa was quite the storyteller, we used to have a nickname for him, Mr. Liar. He loved to tell stories. One day we got to hear one of his stories, it went a little like this.
It was the winter, I remember because my dog froze to the sidewalk. It was all over the news, front page of the newspaper, Dog Freezes to Sidewalk! It ran on the front page for a week, but that all ended when the most terrifying thing in the world happened.
An alien spaceship set down in the town square. It was huge, at least 20 feet long. A rectangular shaft of light traced a doorway out of the side of the ship and then three giant aliens emerged. A crowd had gathered in the square by then since the door opening took 3 hours.
The crowd was hushed, anticipation hung thick in the air. Then an alien spoke with a thundering voice.
"Greetings Earth Losers!" he said.
The crowd was stunned and silent. The alien looked at the the other two aliens, who shrugged their alien shoulders.
"I mean, Greetings Morons of Earth!!"
"Yaaayyy!!!" yelled the crowd.
"Good, you heard me. Anyway, we have come to your planet in peace, so do what we say and no one gets their legs blown off", he then said.
"What should we call you?" asked a crowd person.
"My name is unpronounceable in your earth language."
"What is it?"
"It's Colin. Anyway ... we are from a distant star, and have come here to make you a bargain."
"What star are you from?" asked a crowd person.
"You probably haven't heard of it" the alien replied.
"We might have" says the crowd.
"Its called Beta Ominicron 6" he says.
Then the second alien looks distressed and whispers to the third alien, "why is he always trying to impress everybody by saying we're from beta omnicron 6, if they find out we're actually from beta omnicron 5 we'll look like idiots."
"We have come to make you a deal, we have millions of space tons of trash and toxic waste, we don't want it on our planet, so we're going to put it all here."
"Boooooo!!!!!!" Yelled the crowd.
"What? All right, we will make you another deal. From what we know of you earthlings, you use all your scientific knowledge to research ways to test lipstick , waste food and create more effective adult undergarments for loss of bladder control. If you can prove you're using this planet for something more important than that we will dump all our shit somewhere else. We will give you 48 hours."
"You aliens speak English, how is that possible?" Asked an intrepid crowd member.
"We learned your earth language watching broadcasts of daytime television, so don't go there, cause what we're all about is serious."
"We don't want you to dump your shit on our planet!" says a woman in the crowd.
The alien then holds up his alien hand and says, "Talk to the Chitinous encrusted manipulapod! cause I'll be that!"
After the 48 hours ran out the aliens dumped all their garbage on our planet.
And that's where morons who rollerblade with no shirts on came from (they were the alien garbage).