There are numerous things that I'm not impressed with, for starters, the history channel.
I know the History Channel is so educational, and as they say, those who don't know the History Channel are doomed to repeat it. Now with this whole cable in the classroom thing kids get to watch the History Channel at school and learn about the past. I find this concept amusing. I think the biggest mistake in our educational system is that there has been too much emphasis on teaching. What kids need to do is watch more TV. That ought to dull that last edge of curiosity and wonder that they might have approached the world with.
It suits me just fine though, the dumber the kids are the less they will mind when I put them to work in the dilithium mines of the future nightmarescape that is my destiny. Knowledge is power, as Ice T said, my lethal weapon is my mind, then he rambled on some silly shit about going to the library and lost me, but he's right about the first part. I have noticed kids are getting dumber and dumber, its hilarious. When I was 16 I rode my bike to school and got good grades, everyone was stupid, but society had yet to qualify that as a positive personality trait. Now stupidity is a personal asset, it makes you a better consumer. I'm digressing.
I don't see a lot of educational value in most of the programming on the history channel. What exactly history lesson are kids expected to learn from Rooster Cogburn starring John Wayne and reruns of Tour of Duty. Apparently any form of entertainment that takes place in the past qualifies as historical.
I assume in 5 years Mash and Welcome Back Kotter will count as historical documentaries, followed by WKRP and What's Happenin?
This isn't really related, but when watching A&E I can't help but get the feeling all white people care about is ethan allen furniture and hunter douglas drapes. All the commercials are for furniture and drapes, are those the things that matter to the quasi intellectual upper crust that watch A&E, apparently so.
I'm not impressed with how stupidity is taking me over and how actually I'm just like everyone else. I used to think of my brain as like a big backhoe, churning through the dirt to find amazing little pieces of factoids in the earth. It dug away gathering such treasures of knowledge as the fact that sharks swim in their sleep, that beavers communicate by slapping their tails and that Saturn isn't the only planet with rings, but its the only one with such nice rings. Gathering impressive, useful, everyday knowledge. But my mind is actually like a rusty gate, it hangs lopsided and creaks. And if you get too close it will snag your arm and you'll get tetanus that will quickly become lockjaw, making you a yellow complexioned mute emitting "gaah, gaaah GAAAAH" sounds but no one will understand your frozen jaw's attempt at communication.
On the topic, I have a funny story about a truly stupid person.
There was this one nerd who I remember cried when he got 85% on a math test, I got 85% and I was stoked. He tried to explain to me through puffy cheeks why it was good for me that I got 85 but a total tragedy for him. I just laughed and laughed. All I could think was if you cry in school, you are dog meat in the real world. Who gives a fuck about grades? Idiot's, that's who. But what's funnier is the coping mechanism of crying. Do you think your boss is going to go "oh, don't cry, you'll do better next time". Hey cry baby. You're fired.
Its so funny. Crying, what a joke.
In school they gave us standardized tests in grade 3, 6 and 9. The whole idea was probably to figure out which students were expendable in times of crisis. Here's the best part, we got our little sheet back with our scores represented as 3 squiggly lines drawn on a bell curve. Depending on the location of the squiggly lines it told you where you sat relative to the rest of the world in that category, math, verbal, and other. The jock assholes who basically thought they ruled the school and picked on everyone else had a bad day that day.
I thought it was so funny, they all looked at themselves and saw three squiggly lines drawn on a thin little tail of the curve. Tears came again. That moment was so amazing, because they felt bad, because they were so fucking vain they didn't realize the test didn't mean shit anyway. The little curve is meaningless, but they were too stupid to know it.
I didn't do too good on those tests either, the only category where I was much above average was other. Luckily I know for a fact that these tests represent only the ability to remember simple things for a short time. Being smart comes from somewhere else. Call me corny but good people think with their brains, hearts and dinks, or vaginas depending on which you got.
Now for the final thing I'm not impressed with. Edmonton. These fucking fascists made it illegal to smoke in restaurants, even on outdoor patios. Why? Oh no, second hand smoke in the atmosphere is killing you. Good, maybe you'll stop whining. I'm going to blow smoke at everyone I see like some deranged cancer dragon. The restaurant owners are all mad, now they will lose tons of business. Lets fuck with the livelihood of the small businessman because of an unpopular and lethal hobby. That makes sense you stupid bastards. You invade my eyes with cel phone ads posted on every fucking bus stop, wall, window, door and inch of my eyesight. That's pollution. I need to smoke, its the only relief from the fascist fuckheads calling each other in their cars to talk about each others grey, wasted lives.
I got a little heavy there, I just get so angry sometimes.