Headlines
dontshakethebaby.com writer loses all touch with reality he brushes his teeth with a seagull, wanders aimlessly trying to sell people sets of homemade speakers, which are actually wooden boxes full of plastic bags
Hackers Crash Petopia.com Site is down for over 48 hours causing estimated loss of revenue of 9 dollars and one lonely Parakeet's dramatic suicide by flying headfirst into a mirror
Viagra linked to less people watching television People spending more time cheating on their spouses thanks to magic anti-scaredy-wang pill
Schools institute tough no nonsense policy for teaching If you can't read or write by age 18, you are sent to prison
Everything is your fault Experts agree the world is fucked up because of something you did
Renaissance fair accidentally mischeduled for same weekend as Star Trek Convention Local geeks sad because now they will have nothing to do for 51 weekends of the year
Woman auctions blowjob on e-bay Saskatchewan teenager eagerly awaits delivery
Invention "the telephone" expected to ambush old fashioned "e-mail" technology Email experts argue that the "telephone" is just another fad like swing dancing or honesty
Meaning of life found Apparently it was behind old bikes in garage underneath uncle's water-bong